oyfey:

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These quizzes are so dumb and yet…..I wonder……

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NO THIS CANNOT BE THERE MUST BE A MISTAKE

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MY BODY IS READY

snh-snh-snh:

I keep thinking oh man, I’m so immature. How am I allowed to be an adult.

Then I spend time with teenagers.

And it’s like, wow, okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am so adult. Look at me adulting all over the place.

while I’m out here, slogging through the mud, breathing fire,
and getting stabbed to death

(Source: everyprettygun)

My tongue always feels so weird when I’m drunk. Like I’ve been sticking my tongue out for the last two or so minutes and it just feels so weird. What is a tongue, why tongue, why stuff in mouth. Why not like acid like saliva that just dissolves all this shizz that we eat and such.

I am conducting an experiment

to see how quickly I get drunk. I am almost there. yeah alcohol…stuff…mmm..pop.

tiger-in-the-flightdeck:

abyssalpelagic:

jesslaughingalonewith:

dicksp8jrsbowtie:

celestial-awkwardness:

younger-than-the-soul:

can-i-please-kiss-you-if-i:

omg i ship tiny roman and tiny cowboy

UM

EXCUSE YOU

THOSE ARE JEDIDIAH AND OCTAVIUS

AND THEY ARE THE BROTP OF BROTPS

GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHT

Fun fact: The actor that played Octavius played him as though he had unrequited love for Jedidiah.

Unrequited, my arse. 

I think what you’ve all failed to realize is that the cowboy is saying a line from Brokeback Mountain

bless this post

I’ve given up caring how many times I reblog this.

(Source: funkes)

samthomaswilsons:

#maybe he’s born with it#maybe its hydra brainwashing

thegestianpoet:

gina torres slapped mads mikkelsen in the face 15 times in a row and i think that’s beautiful 

(Source: fuckyeahannibal)

blinkpinkinc:

schmergo:

schmergo:

I want a movie about a guy who runs for president and wins but then suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want to be president, so he just starts doing ridiculous things all the time trying to get impeached, but it NEVER WORKS because they always miraculously end up being the right thing to do. Like, he declares war on Canada? Next day it turns out that Canada had secret plans to nuke Washington. he bans Doritos? Turns out theyr’e the number one cause of cancer and natural disasters. He sends his vice president to jail? Turns out the VP was a terrorist in disguise. He has 100% approval rating, most popular president ever.

I’ve decided that I want him to be played by Jeff Goldblum. 

yabbut …. jeff goldblum as himself in the role.

deducingsherlockian:

what do you mean this didn’t happen